How to Stuff a Lady’s Turkey

A special holiday message that’ll make you laugh!

Starring Lindsay Kent, Regina Chen, Rachel Myhill, and Constance Rosado.
Camera Operators: Justine Spinoza, John Valley, the Kline Bros.
Special thanks to Nancy Oakley the Thai Princess (www.thaiprincessjewelries.com), Lindsay on 5th Ave, Clara on Alamo St and Friend, Nice Lady at Trail of Lights, Other Nice Lady at Trail of Lights and Boyfriend, Fun Menorah Truck Drivers.

#1 Reason Why They Didn’t Write Back

According to a recent published study, the #1 Reason a guy wouldn’t message you back is because…

They’re a EUNUCH CROTCH SWAB.  Move on!  And the #1 Reason a girl wouldn’t message you back is because…  They’re a POCKET PUSSY ASHTRAY.  Forget ’em!

 

First Impressions Tip #6

If you make a bad first impression you can always rectify it by pointing out the other person’s flaws.  This will put them on the defensive and make them work harder to win your affection.

First Impressions Tip #4

Clothes Matter!  As much we like to say that we don’t judge our date for what they’re wearing, we can’t help our subconscious.  I always like to bring a couple extra outfits, in case I don’t like what she’s wearing.  She can always change in the restroom and come back.

First Impressions Tip #3

Pay attention to your non-verbal body language, the wrong gesture could throw them off completely.  So suck in your gut, puff out your chest, and raise your chin.  And then don’t move an inch til the check arrives.

First Impressions Tip #2

Get centered and focus on what you’re there for.  Before a first date, I like to give myself a few minutes to recite a mantra.  Here are useful ones:

-Smile and nod.

-Hit it and quit it.

-Her walk of shame ain’t lame.

-A bird that’s a hag is still worth a push in the bush.

-Don’t be a fool, wrap your tool.