Tag Archives: Sex

How to Stuff a Lady’s Turkey

A special holiday message that’ll make you laugh!

Starring Lindsay Kent, Regina Chen, Rachel Myhill, and Constance Rosado.
Camera Operators: Justine Spinoza, John Valley, the Kline Bros.
Special thanks to Nancy Oakley the Thai Princess (www.thaiprincessjewelries.com), Lindsay on 5th Ave, Clara on Alamo St and Friend, Nice Lady at Trail of Lights, Other Nice Lady at Trail of Lights and Boyfriend, Fun Menorah Truck Drivers.

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My First Sketch Comedy Video, Check It Out!

I’m very pleased to present the first of many sketch comedy videos starring yours truly with the lovely actresses Carly Christopher and Danielle Evon Ploeger!  Let me know what you think:

Special thanks to Andy Olson, John Valley, and Rack Daddy’s Billiards Bar for all the help!

 

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Vote for Best Holiday Pick Up Lines

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Image courtesy: anankkml / freedigitalphotos.net

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I Met This Total Hottie at the Game…

Jim Helen 2 Shot brighter

I smiled at her and asked her what she thought about football…

HER:  I can’t get enough of it, all those ripped guys pounding into each other play after play.  There’s nothing more magnificent than a football player’s body.  All the power and immediacy that emanates from every movement, how fluid their bodies move, and the speed that they can push themselves to makes me so envious.  And excited!

ME:  What are you doing Saturday?

HER:  Getting a sex change.

ME:  What about Friday?

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We Were Making Out On Her Bed…

Couple kissing.

And I really liked this girl, she’s amazing.  So I looked into her eyes, held her hand, and I asked her: ‘So how long do you think we’re gonna last?’

She said: ‘Til this condom is done.’

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Should I be Bi?

I chose not to be bisexual because it doubles my chances of getting turned down on a Friday night.

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So I called an old ex…

I wouldn’t say that I’ve been feeling lonely, but my recent break up has caused me to have extended periods of personal time heavily consumed by thoughts of guilt and isolation.  Anyway, my ex Stephanie is very attractive, and whilst we were together it caused some insecurity on my part because people were always gawking at her jugs instead of bowing to my beard.  Not even gay guys would check me out…  So I was always grumpy around her while we were dating, BUT whenever she broke up with me, suddenly all my angst was released and I could make jokes to her like: “You know, you really shouldn’t’ve shaved down there so much…”  She’d be in stitches and I was my old, cool, Crassanova self, a regular Lex-Lothario-Luther.

So while we were talking last night, I had her rolling pretty great and I popped the question ‘Let’s grab some dinner next week’.  Then she said:

Jim, we can’t, I cheated on you remember.

Which is true, she was having sex with another guy who she left me for the last time we broke up, so I said:

Stephanie, I’d rather be miserable with a cheating hoe like you than be miserable and lonely without you.

And now we’re getting coffee next week 🙂

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